I took some quiet time yesterday just to think. I was thinking about the things I want in the future. I thought to myself "I hope my friend who is really great at praying prays for me and for my future". I know deep in my mind I thought that was going to be the only way my future will turn out like I want it to. (I know there is so much wrong with that.) Then I got to thinking deeper. I thought: "Why is she so great at praying?" Then I realized that the answer is simple. She has faith. Amazing faith. When she asks God for something, she really believes that he will provide for her and give her what she needs.
Planning has always been one thing I argue about a lot with God. I love to plan. I want to make a 10 year plan and see it happen just as I want it to. But I've learned God changes plans. Although I see it's always for the better, it's something that just angers me. So I've tried to just give up on planning. I think "Okay God, since you're going to change my plans anyway, I'll just give up." I like to sugarcoat it. I tell myself I'm great because I'm giving up my plans to follow God's plan for me. I really don't do it with a happy heart. And I don't have much faith at all when I do it. I still keep my own plans in the back of my head, even. I guess I think I can just use my plans when He fails me.
I read a friend's blog today and it gave me a lot of great insight.
This part of the passage really spoke to me:
"But thinking ahead and praying about big decisions or future plans is such a key part of trusting in the Lord with all your heart that I fear I am beginning to miss out on a deeper relationship with Him. By not praying about my big decisions and by trying to avoid all worry (or all thought) about the future, I am basically telling the Lord, 'Hey, even though you are all-knowing, all-powerful, and know what is best for me, I don't trust you enough with my future to tell you what I am planning for myself. Thanks for your interest, though!"
No, I don't need to make a 5 year plan. And I don't need to just give up, either. For the longest time I thought it had to be one of the two. I need to pray to God about what is on my heart. I need to go to Him with unwavering faith and ask Him to be my guide.
