Thankful

I've seen people on Facebook having a new status update each day of November saying something that they're thankful for. I kind of thought I'd do a similar blog post. I may not think of 24 things right now but here are some of the top ones I can think of (in no particular order):

 1. Jesus Christ- He died for me. That's pretty amazing.

 2. Good Music- I love music. Listening to music can be relaxing, encouraging, or just fun.

 3. Parents- I have the best parents in the world. They have done a lot for me throughout my life and are really supportive. They let me make my own decisions but are always there to help when I make mistakes.

 4. Opportunities to Travel- I LOVE to see the world. Wether it's exploring a town in the midwest or spending a summer in Europe, I love to explore new places.

 5. Sister- I love having a sister! She's a wonderful person and I laugh more with her than with anyone else. I'm lucky to have the sister that I have.

 6. Friends- I don't know what I would do without my close friends.

 7. My Jobs- I work for great families. I love babysitting. Spending time with sweet little children can always put me in a great mood. I love being able to see the young children learn and grow.

 8. Wedding Blogs- I had to say it. Style Me Pretty is great. And not to mention the engagement videos...

 9. Good Instructors- Throughout college and even high school I've had some pretty great teachers. I have learned a lot of useful information from experienced instructors.

 10. Days on which I can sleep in- It rarely happens these days, but not being able to set an alarm is a nice feeling.

 11. Extended Family- I have been blessed with a great family. My family is small, but there's a lot of love.

 12. Italian Family- I love my Italian family! I got to spend the summer with a great family and got to see how people of another culture live. It was a great growing experience.

 13. Christian Community- I'm blessed to have encouraging people in my life. People to learn from and to grow with.

 14. Hugs- I love being close to people. Hugs are always fantastic.

 15. Grace- I really don't deserve anything, but I am unconditionally loved and I am saved.

 So, there it is. Just a few things I'm thankful for.

How Deep the Father's Love

I'm in awe.

After a 14 hour day yesterday and going through some personal struggles last night, I woke up in a great mood. God has been speaking to me all morning and I am just embracing it.

While walking on campus this morning, I got to thinking. I see people around me getting grumpy and just tired and annoyed because it's a stressful time of year for school work. We're ready to be done, ready for a break, and ready to just not have the pressure of school work weighing us down. Why did I wake up in such a great mood?

Last night I was struggling with God and with myself. I got it into my head that I have to have a great man in my life in order to be fulfilled. I justified this thought with thinking: "I only desire a man who knows Christ and will encourage me and my walk with the Lord." I get in my head that NEED a man in my life. And there are times when I get so upset and feel alone and even get upset with God. I get it in my head that God doesn't know what he is doing and the way my life is right now isn't the way it is supposed to be.

There have been a lot of times in my life when I've felt like this. And I was so upset that I felt sick last night. Then, something changed. I decided to really talk to God about my feelings. I decided not to just get upset with Him and close Him out. I almost instantly felt better. I realized that God really is giving me everything I need to be fulfilled. I'm not saying that I don't think I'll ever have a boyfriend or get married, it's just not in the plan for this moment. It may happen in a week or it may happen in 20 years. I really don't know. God has put this desire in my heart for a reason, but He has a great plan for who he'll put in my life in when.

This morning I thought of the situation even more and was amazed. I thought of how deep God's love is for me and was overwhelmed by this feeling. I feel like I need love and attention from a human, but I am already loved by God. God loves me more than any human ever can. I put a lot of energy into friendships and relationships with other humans who are far from perfect. Even seemingly perfect humans have big problems and make mistakes and disappoint others. God has never truly disappointed me.

God is always here with me. He loves me unconditionally. He is there to help me through any struggles I am having and gladly welcomes me back in his arms after I have ran and tried to hide from Him. How can I be overcome with worry, disappointment, or anger when I think of this great love?

I know I will continue to be disappointed with myself and others. I will continue to get stressed out and worry. But I am finding just how easy it is to forget about that worry when I just hand over all of my struggles to God. I want to learn how to let go of things I want total control over. It's silly that it's so hard to give up control when I perfect, loving God wants to help me through everything. Feeling that love is so comforting and brings such a pure joy.

I'm Back

I haven't written in a LONG time, so this will be a long (and pretty random) one...

I've experienced a lot over the last year.

I have had some of the best moments of my life and I have gone through some pretty difficult times. God has been there with me through all of it.

Tonight, one of my non-Christian friends asked me what I have learned and experienced over the last year after I told her that my relationship with Christ has really changed. That question made me think.

I didn't really have a super difficult life before I came to know Christ. I wasn't really depressed and I was a seemly good person. I was just an average "Christian" college girl.

Before I started really walking with Christ I filled my time with "good" and "Christian" things. I went to church multiple times a week, went on mission trips, fed the homeless, etc. I felt pretty great about myself.

I think because I did these good things and I didn't commit any of the "big" sins I thought I was golden.

Over the past couple of years I have really been opening up to Jesus Christ. I have learned that walking with God is something way better than just going to church and good deeds. It is giving up my life to the one who died for me. Although I go through hard times, I have a friend always there with me.

Although I try to ignore God at times and follow my own plans, I know that he has a great life planned for me. I have seen what he does when I just give my plans to Him. I still can't comprehend why I try to hold things back from God. I have never been disappointed after surrendering to Him.

I love the way He has worked in my life the past few months. He prepared my heart this summer. I had a great time in Italy. I couldn't understand why God sent me there rather than to the mission field, and I still don't fully understand, but I have seen a lot of good come out of it. I got to experience a new culture and a new way of life. I got to prove to myself that I am able to leave the comfort of home and the people that I love in order to experience a new culture. It was hard to give my summer plans to God, but it worked out well in the end.

While in Italy, I pretty much had no Christian community. That was discouraging at times. I felt lost and alone, especially at the beginning. I felt no connection to God. I got swept up in the excitement and nerves of being in a new place and really lost my center. I would sit and beg God to just come and fill my life. Throughout the summer I grew. I learned how to find God when I didn't have a support system of other Christians.

Although being alone was good for me, it was great to come back to school and get connected with other college students who love Christ. I started off the semester with students from Germany who were here on a mission trip. Seeing their passion for Christ and spreading the word of God on this campus really helped me get ready for the school year. I realized all of the opportunities I have here at IU to share the love of Christ with others. It was an amazing realization.

I also got involved with Bridges International. I get to meet with international students each week and I have really learned a lot from this ministry. Before I got connected with Bridges, I felt really lost in Cru. I love spending time with international students. In general, it is easier for me to have conversations with international students and American students who are involved in the ministry. It is amazing to talk about the gospel with students who know almost nothing about Jesus and his life. It is exciting to see their excitement and when they doubt something, it really makes me think about why I believe what I believe. I have got to see a girl come to know Jesus and it has been a great experience for both of us. I have learned a lot from Cru staff as well as other students involved in the ministry.

Now, God has opened a lot of doors for me to be able to go back overseas next semester. It seems kind of crazy to take a semester off, but everything is working out so well at this point. I'm excited to get back to Europe. I have never been to Germany and I am ready to experience a new culture. It will be hard for me to leave Bloomington and the great things happening here, but I am sure God will open doors for me to experience great things in Germany, too. I want to go there with an open heart and open mind. I want to give this trip to God. There is a chance I can do campus ministry and be involved with Cru at a university near the town in which I will be living. I want time for personal growth. In Germany, I'll have more free time than I do here at school and I want to use that time to grow closer to Christ. I want to really dive into he Word.

It has been great to see what God does when I give Him my time and plans. I'm excited to see what he has in store for the future.