I'm Back

I haven't written in a LONG time, so this will be a long (and pretty random) one...

I've experienced a lot over the last year.

I have had some of the best moments of my life and I have gone through some pretty difficult times. God has been there with me through all of it.

Tonight, one of my non-Christian friends asked me what I have learned and experienced over the last year after I told her that my relationship with Christ has really changed. That question made me think.

I didn't really have a super difficult life before I came to know Christ. I wasn't really depressed and I was a seemly good person. I was just an average "Christian" college girl.

Before I started really walking with Christ I filled my time with "good" and "Christian" things. I went to church multiple times a week, went on mission trips, fed the homeless, etc. I felt pretty great about myself.

I think because I did these good things and I didn't commit any of the "big" sins I thought I was golden.

Over the past couple of years I have really been opening up to Jesus Christ. I have learned that walking with God is something way better than just going to church and good deeds. It is giving up my life to the one who died for me. Although I go through hard times, I have a friend always there with me.

Although I try to ignore God at times and follow my own plans, I know that he has a great life planned for me. I have seen what he does when I just give my plans to Him. I still can't comprehend why I try to hold things back from God. I have never been disappointed after surrendering to Him.

I love the way He has worked in my life the past few months. He prepared my heart this summer. I had a great time in Italy. I couldn't understand why God sent me there rather than to the mission field, and I still don't fully understand, but I have seen a lot of good come out of it. I got to experience a new culture and a new way of life. I got to prove to myself that I am able to leave the comfort of home and the people that I love in order to experience a new culture. It was hard to give my summer plans to God, but it worked out well in the end.

While in Italy, I pretty much had no Christian community. That was discouraging at times. I felt lost and alone, especially at the beginning. I felt no connection to God. I got swept up in the excitement and nerves of being in a new place and really lost my center. I would sit and beg God to just come and fill my life. Throughout the summer I grew. I learned how to find God when I didn't have a support system of other Christians.

Although being alone was good for me, it was great to come back to school and get connected with other college students who love Christ. I started off the semester with students from Germany who were here on a mission trip. Seeing their passion for Christ and spreading the word of God on this campus really helped me get ready for the school year. I realized all of the opportunities I have here at IU to share the love of Christ with others. It was an amazing realization.

I also got involved with Bridges International. I get to meet with international students each week and I have really learned a lot from this ministry. Before I got connected with Bridges, I felt really lost in Cru. I love spending time with international students. In general, it is easier for me to have conversations with international students and American students who are involved in the ministry. It is amazing to talk about the gospel with students who know almost nothing about Jesus and his life. It is exciting to see their excitement and when they doubt something, it really makes me think about why I believe what I believe. I have got to see a girl come to know Jesus and it has been a great experience for both of us. I have learned a lot from Cru staff as well as other students involved in the ministry.

Now, God has opened a lot of doors for me to be able to go back overseas next semester. It seems kind of crazy to take a semester off, but everything is working out so well at this point. I'm excited to get back to Europe. I have never been to Germany and I am ready to experience a new culture. It will be hard for me to leave Bloomington and the great things happening here, but I am sure God will open doors for me to experience great things in Germany, too. I want to go there with an open heart and open mind. I want to give this trip to God. There is a chance I can do campus ministry and be involved with Cru at a university near the town in which I will be living. I want time for personal growth. In Germany, I'll have more free time than I do here at school and I want to use that time to grow closer to Christ. I want to really dive into he Word.

It has been great to see what God does when I give Him my time and plans. I'm excited to see what he has in store for the future.